at keeping a blog.
It's past midnight, and I should be sleeping. I am just in the mood to shut my brain off and be consumed by the computer. This has felt like the longest weekend ever. Hubby had friday off, and I have been in no mood for his company. Awful, I know. It's probably me.
I can't believe it's May. It can not be possible. Atticus turned five months on the 29th. It's passing too quickly. I just want to reach out and grab him, and keep him the little baby, I love.
Lily, is talking more and more. She understands so much now. I'm trying to potty train, and it's awful. I don't think people understand, why it's not working. But it just goes back to following the advice of experts and your doctors, and then everyone else thinking you should do it the way they did it. It's overwhelming, and nothing is working. My gut instinct is that she's just not fully ready. She's text book ready, but I think there is something else going on. I wish we could just get it over with. It is so consuming.
I've been focusing on photography lately. I could write a book on everything that has been going on in my mind. It's been a rollercoaster. One moment I am optimistic, and then the next I feel so worthless. I really need to get the right gear, then I'll feel even more confident in it. It will take me about $3,000 to start my own business, which in the scheme of things is not much. This will be my independence, my outlet, and my worth.
It's worth every dime.
Okay, I'm going to lay in bed now.
I'm sure I will be awake for awhile. It's usually when thoughts consume me.
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