I just got done holding Atticus. I hold him so close to my chest, my heart. I can't get enough of him. I just know these moments are going to be gone. I want to hold them as close as I can. He is such a sweet boy. To help wind down I gave him a bath tonight. He was shivering, but never cried. I kept pouring warm water over him to help him stay comfortable and even with the bottom lip quivering he just kept staring at me. It's a loving stare too. He's too wonderful.
I did a mini shoot with Lily today. I've been wanting to do pictures with her new tutu for a while now. She wasn't happy. She was okay with it for about 5 minutes, and then was over it. The pictures I did manage to get are good though. I can't believe what a year has done to change her. I can't even catch a glimpse of the baby she was now. I have been having these feelings of disconnect with her lately. I think it's just because she doesn't need me like she did. It works against me too, because I just assume she doesn't need me and then she'll get naughty and want to sit on my lap. I feel bad for her, she doesn't understand what's going on. I need to get with it, and figure this balance out.
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